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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28123545">s a u d a d e</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mynamewasrin/pseuds/Mynamewasrin'>Mynamewasrin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drug Abuse, Drugs, F/M, Sexual Abuse, prison reid, sexual trama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:20:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28123545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mynamewasrin/pseuds/Mynamewasrin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; "the love that remains"</p><p>Spencer Reid X Reader</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>s a u d a d e</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You laid on your side in bed as you stared out the window and watched as snow covered the entire city. The snow illuminated in the night from all the lights in the city. Your room was completely dark and cold, you only stayed warm from your covers.</p><p>At that exact moment, you felt nothing. You had cried all the tears you possibly could and now, you felt completely numb. Just listening to whatever music would come on your playlist.</p><p>You could still feel how soft his hair was on your fingertips, you could still feel his kiss linger on your lips. You took a deep breath as you tried to clear your mind, but every time you tried you failed.</p><p>Everything reminded you of him.</p><p>Even the snow falling down on the city reminded you of him. The way he loved, the way he smelled. He was all you could possibly see, and unfortunately for you you'll never be able to see him every again.</p><p>When you had originally joined the BAU, it was while Reid was in prison for murder. Nobody had told you anything about Spencer until the day that he returned. There were a few things that they would tell you, like he was a genius or that he had an eidetic memory. Nothing of what his situation was, why he was in there.</p><p>The day that you met Spencer, it was an odd day.</p><p>You were sitting at your desk when he walked in, he caught your eye the second he walked in. His long messy hair, his cheekbones, and his sharp jaw. You found yourself practically drooling over him. "Do you like what you see?" You heard Penelope ask from behind you.</p><p>You jumped up and turned around to look at her, "Uh, what?"</p><p>She crossed her arms and smiled, "I saw you practically drooling over Doctor Spencer Reid."</p><p>"I was not, wait... thats Reid?" You raised your eyebrow and looked back over to him. JJ and Emily have already traveled over to him to give him a hug, and you assumed Penelope would be as well.</p><p>She nodded, "Yep, our boy genius." She walked passed you and over to Reid. She reached out to him and engulfed him in a hug.</p><p>You were never told anything about Reid, and you never understood why. You were a member of this bureau, but it always seemed like an odd topic to go on.</p><p>"Ah, I almost forgot, even when good happens to us, bad stuff still happens to others." Penelope sighed and walked towards the round table, "We have a case."</p><p>You stood up and followed them into the room. You sat besides Emily at the table and waited for everyone else to come in. Reid sat down next to Rossi and Luke who welcomed him back. You noticed that Reid was staring at you, and you looked away from him. Tara sat next to JJ, and now all you guys were waiting on was Hotch.</p><p>"Alright," Hotch said as he walked in, Penelope stood up and pressed a button on her remote.</p><p>She turned to look at us as four girls appeared on the screen, "We have a case in New York City, Four girls have gone missing in the past month and showed up a week later. Our recent victim," She clicked the button and enlarged the picture of the woman with long brown hair and blue eyes, "Was just recently discovered, her name is Addison Royal, she's 22. She was in college majoring in Art."</p><p>"Anything similiar about the victims?" JJ asked as she was looking at all four girls.</p><p>"Besides them all being the same age, same hair color, and same eye color? I got nothing." She sighed, "Our first victim, wasn't even in college. She was working in a bistro, she had no want to enroll in college."</p><p>"This could just be connected by the similarities," Tara suggested.</p><p>Rossi raised his eyebrow as he looked at all four victims, "The girls could resemble someone close to the unsub."</p><p>"We'll find out more, when we're in New York. Wheels up in 30." Hotch said as he walked out of the room.</p><p>Everyone turned to look at Reid, "Welcome back." Luke stood up and shook Reid's hand.</p><p>"Reid, this is our newest member." Emily smiled as she placed her hands on your shoulder.</p><p>Reid looked over at you and you felt your face heat up, "Hi, I'm Y/N Y/L/N." You extended your hand and Reid gave a small smile to you.</p><p>"I'm Doctor Spencer Reid," He lightly shook your hand, "It's nice to meet you, JJ and Penelope talked about you a lot."</p><p>You raised your eyebrow as you looked at JJ, "Did they now?"</p><p>JJ smiled and stood up, "I think it's time to make our way to the jet." She walked out of the room and you found yourself following her.</p><p>At the time, you never knew what you were about to get into. Sometimes, you'll end up regretting it, and sometimes you wished it never happened. Now, you just wish you could go back and change it all.</p><p>Maybe, he would still have been here.</p><p> </p>
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